Thursday, October 06, 2011

Why I'd rather not believe

This world's ability to generate sellouts in their droves, to provide incentives to existing sellouts to sell out to previously unimaginable levels and convert people you respect immensely for their abilities into garden-variety sellouts is truly astonishing.

Acceptance of the first category is perhaps an inevitable concession to the ways of this world. Acceptance of the second category is usually an exercise in spewing disgust before adjusting your life perspective to the fact that such things also, sadly, happen.

However, it is the third category that is the most difficult to accept, perhaps because it is the most difficult to fathom. And it hurts infinitely more when those converted are close friends.

Yet, it reinforces belief that there is value in fighting the good fight and holding a balanced opinion of people, no matter how worthy of admiration they may appear.

It reinforces belief that, when it's your turn to teeter on the brink of that cliff, you remember what dragged you to the edge to begin with and why living to fight another day is always, always the right thing to do.

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I'm not sure if there's a point to this story but I'm going to tell it again.

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I've been wilfully caught up in the self-defeating quest to get to know myself for years. I've never expected anything beneficial to result from such a quest. I tend to evoke extremely polarised reactions from people I get to know in passing. Consequently, only those people who know me inside-out would honestly claim that I'm a person who's just "alright." It's not a coincidence that the description I've laid out above has no fewer than, title included, eleven references to me (make that twelve). I'm affectionately referred to as "Ego." I think that last statement might have given away a tad too much. Welcome Aboard.

IHTRTRS ke pichle episode mein aapne dekha...

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