Monday, April 23, 2012

Chicks, Academics

It's the best thing that you ever had, the best thing that you ever, ever had.
It's the best thing that you ever had, the best thing you had has gone away.

I never thought I'd be in this place at this time. I'm able to look back happily at what was, let those words soak in and feel genuinely thankful that it all played out the way it did. No regrets, no second thoughts, just a willingness take my life forward and be the best me I can be.

Another one of these watersheds will arrive in a day short of one month from today and that hurt a lot more than this ever, ever could. But I survived that too and I look back upon that day as the dark before a pretty incredible dawn. It still bites at me on occasion, it's meant to. But it pushed me into a corner, it made me ask myself some difficult questions and, ultimately, it made me put my heart and soul into one of the toughest challenges of my life.

That I got through that, of course, was due in large part to the best thing that I ever, ever had. And so the whole thing comes a full circle.

Thursday, April 19, 2012

The Empty House

About as oddly peaceful as an evening could possibly be, despite the unanswered questions, the speculation and the vague tension.

I have come to accept that this is my reality now and that it's a pretty good place to be in. It is a point that was made as forcefully as it was silently; as much with talk of fear as with talk of courage.

After months and months of over-thinking and giving in to the silliest of whims, I must confess it really does feel, even though that nagging sense of uncertainty over the coming months is inevitable, like I'm slowly and patiently turning the corner.

Crowned by a magnificent backs-to-the-wall performance by Chelsea against Barcelona (and no yelling at the TV!), I have a feeling I'm going to point to last night as the night I finally started to sort out things I haven't had the courage to for far too long.

Thank you for a magnificent evening, KB. 'Start as you mean to go on', indeed. :-)

Wednesday, April 04, 2012


Forget about The Undertaker's 20-0, forget about The Rock going over John Cena, forget about Brock Lesnar's return to WWE - there will be plenty of time to discuss all of that.

Watch, share, be astounded.

And don't you dare tell me Daniel Bryan is not over.

Sunday, April 01, 2012

And so we wait.

Wrestlemania XXVIII is a matter of hours away and the trembling hands, the dullness in the spine and the peeled, reddened eyes all confirm the feverish anticipation invested into what should be one hell of a show.

But for all the festivity, grandeur and excitement, I have one simple wish - that Mark Calaway walks away from Hell in a Cell without some kind of incapacitating physical damage.

The damage his extraordinary body has endured over the years is now irreversible - that is a fact and something I have trouble with whenever I watch him. However, I am also aware that the line between irreversibility and incapacitation is one that he does not particularly respect and while that has been the cornerstone of my respect of him as a performer, just for tonight, I'm holding out the hope that he does, in fact, live to fight another day. It is increasingly apparent that it is impossible for his match in a few hours' time to be better than his previous nineteen performances on this grand stage and I'm just praying that his pride as a performer doesn't come in the way of him being physically able to lace up those boots one more time after tonight.

As much as it likely will, it doesn't deserve to end this way.   

I'm not sure if there's a point to this story but I'm going to tell it again.

My photo
I've been wilfully caught up in the self-defeating quest to get to know myself for years. I've never expected anything beneficial to result from such a quest. I tend to evoke extremely polarised reactions from people I get to know in passing. Consequently, only those people who know me inside-out would honestly claim that I'm a person who's just "alright." It's not a coincidence that the description I've laid out above has no fewer than, title included, eleven references to me (make that twelve). I'm affectionately referred to as "Ego." I think that last statement might have given away a tad too much. Welcome Aboard.

IHTRTRS ke pichle episode mein aapne dekha...


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