Friday, February 18, 2011

"Isn't it obvious? There are no parking meters out here!"

The best of Frank Costanza.


#3


Seinfeld 9:10, "The Strike"


Frank: Kramer, I got your message. I haven't celebrated Festivus in years! What is your interest?
Kramer: Well, just tell me everything, huh?
Frank: Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son. I reached for the last one they had - but so did another man. As I rained blows upon him, I realized there had to be another way!
Kramer: What happened to the doll?
Frank: It was destroyed. But out of that, a new holiday was born. "A Festivus for the rest of us!"
Kramer: That must've been some kind of doll.
Frank: She was.


#2


Seinfeld 7:12, "The Caddy"


Estelle (crying): I can't believe it, he was so young. How could this have happened?
Steinbrenner: Well, he'd been logging some pretty heavy hours, first one in in the morning, last one to leave at night. That kid was a human dynamo.
Estelle: Are you sure you're talking about George?
Steinbrenner: You are Mr. and Mrs. Costanza?
Frank (yelling): What the hell did you trade Jay Buhner for? He had 30 home runs, over 100 RBIs last year, he's got a rocket for an arm, you don't know what the hell you're doing!

#1

Seinfeld 7:11, "The Rye"

Frank: Let me understand, you got the hen, the chicken and the rooster. The rooster goes with the chicken. So, who's having sex with the hen?
George: Why don't we talk about this another time?
Frank: But you see my point here? You only hear of a hen, a rooster and a chicken. Something's missing!
Mrs. Ross: Something's missing all right.
Mr. Ross: They're all chickens. The rooster has sex with all of them.
Frank: That's perverse.

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I'm not sure if there's a point to this story but I'm going to tell it again.

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I've been wilfully caught up in the self-defeating quest to get to know myself for years. I've never expected anything beneficial to result from such a quest. I tend to evoke extremely polarised reactions from people I get to know in passing. Consequently, only those people who know me inside-out would honestly claim that I'm a person who's just "alright." It's not a coincidence that the description I've laid out above has no fewer than, title included, eleven references to me (make that twelve). I'm affectionately referred to as "Ego." I think that last statement might have given away a tad too much. Welcome Aboard.

IHTRTRS ke pichle episode mein aapne dekha...

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