Friday, May 20, 2011

I can't be your friend unless I pretend

More from Neil McCormick's spellbinding Killing Bono:

"And still we didn't sit down and say, 'That's it.' Wave the white flag. Surrender. We didn't look each other in the eye, shake hands and say: 'We gave it our best shot. It was not to be.' Rather, we skulked around, avoiding each other, seeking refuge in the arms of women.

I was in love. For the first time, I felt I could actually say that without fear, without equivocation or concern about commitment. And it may be that failure released me from the prison of ego and ambition, so that I no longer contemplated the future with the greedy eyes of a child in a candy store. Or it may be that love was a safe haven for my wounded ego, because love makes everybody special. Our loved ones loved our songs. They'd ask us to play for them, even when no one else wanted to listen anymore.

[...] The object of my ardor was Gloria. And when she finally reciprocated, after a long siege on the stronghold of her heart, [...] I was temporarily elevated to seventh heaven, king of all I surveyed. In the warmth of her embrace, I could overlook my failures. I could even thanks for the crooked path my life had taken, telling myself that it had led to this wonderful woman."

And this, from a newly-rediscovered 'Sewn' by The Feeling:

" 'Cos you got my heart in a headlock
You stopped the blood and made my head soft
And God knows
You've got me sewn."

One big reason I like this song is because Dan Gillespie Sells pronounces "can't" like it's meant to be, not the way the Americans do.

A line from this song was the subject of my first-ever Facebook status message, about a month short of four years ago.

My, how things've changed.

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I'm not sure if there's a point to this story but I'm going to tell it again.

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India
I've been wilfully caught up in the self-defeating quest to get to know myself for years. I've never expected anything beneficial to result from such a quest. I tend to evoke extremely polarised reactions from people I get to know in passing. Consequently, only those people who know me inside-out would honestly claim that I'm a person who's just "alright." It's not a coincidence that the description I've laid out above has no fewer than, title included, eleven references to me (make that twelve). I'm affectionately referred to as "Ego." I think that last statement might have given away a tad too much. Welcome Aboard.

IHTRTRS ke pichle episode mein aapne dekha...

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