Four Word Proposal

I've always believed that, as obvious as it may seem, the way people write mirrors how they feel. I'm delighted to say I've rediscovered about five years' worth of writing through an old friend this morning. In tribute and celebration to our many disagreements about poetry and love, here's to you:

Four Word Proposal

August 14, 2012

(Prologue: I was, in true heavy metal style, going to "call this one 'Wasted'" and "dedic it to my ex-girlfriend, may she burn in hell" but I realised (1) that my ex-girlfriends are adorable people and have been unreasonably nice to me even though they've had no reason to be and (2) this isn't about my ex-girlfriend(s) anyway - it is entirely fictional.

Second prologue: I wrote this in sharp, inspired two-line bursts. The rhymes came out of nowhere - it has literally taken me twenty minutes to put it all down. Must be something in this mid-August air.) 

***

Economy of words has always eluded me

Eschewing 'no wasted motion', I'd rather be free

It should come, therefore, as no surprise

That it is my editor's blue pencil that I most despise.

Back and forth into his little lair I'd go

Having my words brutalised in the rain and snow

In whatever little I'd salvage of my all-consuming day

I'd find time for lunch and I'd find time to pray.

Each day, my little prayer would be exactly the same

That somehow He could deliver she who has no name

For I'd exhausted all possible avenues and every resource

In fruitless courtship, leaving only remorse.

Charm her, please her, they would say

Chip away at it every single day

It doesn't matter if progress is slow

You've got time, go with the flow.

And so I pursued but she would not budge

But I stuck to her like sweet chocolate fudge

Tirelessly, relentlessly, till I was obsessed

Stopping only when I was under blue-pencil arrest.

Slowly but surely she began to crack

Starting to like me though I was a hack

As more time passed, it just became vanilla

I know that makes no sense, this line is just filler.

It turns out they were right about persistence and its reward    

But it had taken too long, it was time I couldn't afford

So I decided for certain that this would be my time

Just so I could put an end to this rhyme.

I spoke without fear, without the apprehension of failing

At least when she said no, there'd be no wailing

But as I began my choreographed soliloquy

I started to tremble and so did she.

So I asked her what she was so fearful of hearing

And shushed at the window where my friends were leering

I got her to talk like she'd never talked before

And with every word she said, I realised more and more.

That come what may, I would always be around

Be that friend if she ever fell down

And slowly but surely, as you can probably tell

I sank quickly and without a trace into the friend zone well.

Suddenly women started coming out of the woodwork

'My boyfriend's a sexist, a druggie, such a jerk'

So I became a yes-man to the prettiest women - it was a cruel tale

Turning into an agony aunt a hot-blooded twenty-four-year-old male.

Long nights of 'Uh-huh' and 'I understand'

Dissolving mental images that had once been grand

But somehow I'd think back to that night when it came undone

And what a miserable story I had spun.

***

The news, when it came, hit me like a two-ton weight

She was leaving for good and I knew it would be too late. 

So finally in the fifth minute of injury time

Armed with a row of shots and loads of lime

I finally put the record straight with Miss Best Friend

And told her in no uncertain terms that this must end.

I waited anxiously for the tears I so richly deserved

But was astonished to see her so taciturn and reserved

What must I do to get a reaction, I thought

Many years of trying are all coming to naught.

So I did what all opportunistic buggers do

I waited for a time to come that we all knew

A couple of hours, maybe more

Till she finally staggered through that door.

I wasn't playing hard to get, I lied

I'd actually been playing conquer and divide

We sat down to talk like the old days, when it all made sense

And I realised there were no more moves, no more defence.

In this soliloquy, though, I felt something strange occur

I felt a real connection when everything else was a blur

And it dawned on me that this is what she had felt all along

And if I let her walk out that door, I'd be doing something very wrong.

So I engaged her, indulged her, told her she was right

And we talked forever and late into the night

But when the moment came to say our goodbyes

I saw friendship and trust but nothing else in her eyes.

And even though years have passed since I dusted that book off my shelf  

On lonely nights when I cannot sleep I still ask myself 

Was she blind, could she not see

That my four word proposal had become three?